Why your forties are Fabulous by Freya Kennedy
As I write this the last book in my ‘Fabulous Forties Club’ series ‘Everything’s Grand’ is just about to be released, and my own fabulous forties are drawing to a close.
My fiftieth birthday looms uncomfortably close and with it the decade that redefined my life is almost over.
Am I ending my forties the way I started them? Well… not exactly. In the decade that has passed I have gained sixteen books to my back catalogue, some fun collaborations including some work for TV. I’ve gained two dogs. My children are now mostly grown – the youngest being seventeen – and I have therefore gained increased independence.
I have also lost a lot. Amongst other things, I leave the decade minus a gallbladder, a husband and my tolerance for nonsense.
I am most certainly not alone among my peers for having similarly life-altering decades.
So, with some experience I can confidently say that a woman’s forties can see a level of personal growth and exploration that we don’t get the chance to experience while in the mire of our twenties and thirties. The changes can be scary, but they can also be exceptionally fabulous.
For many of us our forties are when we start to get a whiff of our own mortality, and when we also start to realise that it’s up to us to shape the rest of our lives.
Parenting responsibilities may be lessening. Our children may be starting to talk about going away to university. We may have reached the stage where we are the ‘old person’ in the office, watching all the fresh faced, non-jaded young folk start their careers with huge enthusiasm.
We may just be tired of spending the last two decades working our arses off combining our day jobs with our mammy responsibilities.
Or we may just have had enough of feeling we have to meet the expectations of others.
For me, my forties have been a time when I have stopped feeling the need to justify my decisions so much. When ‘because I want to’ has become a valid reason. When ‘no’ has become a complete sentence.
It’s often said your forties are when you simply stop caring what other people think. I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but it’s definitely true that we care less. There’s an extreme comfort in growing into yourself, in feeling more sure of who you are and what you want. It gives you the power to look at the young folk in work and realise that while your twenties were fun at the time, you wouldn’t really want to go back to that stage of life. All that angst and going out clubbing until the wee hours? No thank you!
Now, you can come home, put on your pyjamas and your big fluffy cardigan, rock your Crocs and watch Virgin River without worrying that you’re not cool.
You can have cake for dinner, which you can buy with your own money, if you want. I recommend, at least once in your forties buying a Colin the Caterpillar cake for no other reason than it’s a Wednesday and you want to. Eat the arse end first. It’s the best bit.
And while your cares about some things lessen, you learn to care more – and truly appreciate – the things that matter. You gain a whole new appreciation of your friends and family, and of your parents if you are lucky enough to still have them.
You truly realise it’s the quality and not the quantity of people around you that matter.
You realise that what really matters is keeping the honest cheerleaders. Those who celebrate your successes but aren’t afraid to be real with you when you need it.
Your forties are your liberation years. Embrace them wholeheartedly.
Pick up your copy of Everything’s Grand here: https://mybook.to/EverythingsGrand