The Invisibility of Mature Women
Gail has her own rather dubious reasons for a severe case of ‘comparitinitus’ in The Assistant, but I think many of us notice the change, in more ways than one, not only physically but in the attitude of others as we mature.
Aging is a natural thing, happens to us all, and yet we are overlooked in gatherings, seen as an adjunct to a partner, or maybe at work, our voice not heard, or as I recently found, patronised, as my husband and I went around sales showrooms looking for a new car, my hand shaken and then my presence mostly ignored, my questions answered grudgingly and even with a tilted head.
It makes me mad, but it also amuses me. How foolish of them to underestimate my power as a decision maker of equal value, a woman of experience and knowledge.
There was an article in The Guardian lately about the rise of older women being published for the first time. A ‘sea change’ in the industry with our experience at last being seen as an advantage. I hope it is a seismic shift in attitudes, but how has this not always been the case?
My first book was published in my fifties. It was a bestseller and adapted for TV. I couldn’t have written that story authentically until then, based not on me, but using some of my lived experience raising my children to adulthood and navigating the mixed emotions and choppy waters of empty-nest syndrome.
So how can women in their fifties and beyond be treated as somehow lesser, and invisible, whilst we are accumulating more not less power?
Quietly, but not always, we are now raging against the stereotypes of the past. Those women older than us who had little agency and were written-off too soon. Grannies in frumpy outfits with permed hair. Who facilitated the lives of others to the detriment of their own.
If sixty is the new fifty and seventy the new sixty, then this phase of our lives has so much more to offer. In terms of work, relationships, and longevity. That needs to be reflected not only in our attitudes, but on the page. And I am so happy to see books and the screen finally embracing this. With actresses like Connie Nielsen who played Jo in the adaptation of Close To Me, at fifty-plus lighting up the screen; the casting and script accurately reflecting the age I wrote for and about. Let’s see more of this please. It’s high time.
As Gail would say, we will no longer be ignored!
You can pick up your copy of The Assistant here: https://mybook.to/TheAssistantsocial