One of the best things about writing the Cornish Country Hospital Series has been the opportunity to cover some difficult but important subjects, alongside the feel-good, uplifting storylines. Lessons in Love at the Cornish Country Hospital is no different, and intertwining Danni and Wendy’s stories is the subject of post-partum mental health.
I am lucky enough to have friends who either currently work within the NHS, or have previously done so, and I know that patients requiring mental health support make up one of the biggest groups using the service. So it’s important that the series features the team at St Piran’s supporting these patients too.
Up to one in five new mothers experience issues with their mental health after giving birth, primarily postpartum depression, and the consequences can be catastrophic for the women, their babies, and other family members. Tragically, suicide is the leading cause of death amongst new mothers in the first year after giving birth, and difficult deliveries can often lead to PTSD. Many new mothers find they don’t have the support they need, either because they don’t feel they have anyone to turn to, or because they are scared to ask for help. Admitting that they’re struggling can be daunting, and many women fear their children will be taken away from them if they tell a professional how they are feeling. Women, mothers especially, often carry guilt with them far too easily, and some of the quotes I encountered while researching this topic are truly heartbreaking:
‘I had difficulty breastfeeding, which made me feel like less of a woman and an unworthy mother. I was crying more than I wasn’t and worrying about every scary thing that could happen if I made a mistake.’
‘The simplest of things were hard – waking up, getting out of bed, dressing my daughter. I felt frozen and uncomfortable in my own skin.’
‘I felt extremely alone and like I was suffocating – because I was physically isolated and alone. Every day, I woke up and said: just try to keep yourself and the kids alive.’
‘I was very angry and irritable and had suicidal thoughts. I was worried that sharing my worst feelings and thoughts could mean having my child taken away.’
‘I struggled with getting out of the house, I struggled with any type of self-care. I was trying my hardest to mask all of these emotions, because I was ashamed.’
There’s so much sadness and fear in these quotes, and I tried to capture those feelings within Lessons in Love. In my character’s case, there is a devastating trigger for her post-partum crisis, which I can’t say too much about without giving away the plot. What my character has in common with these women, who were courageous enough to share their stories, is the discovery that things can change when you reach out for support. Asking for help can be a terrifying prospect, but with the aid of therapy, support groups, medication, and the understanding of family and friends, it is possible – as one of the women quoted above put it – to find unimaginable joy again.
Lessons in Love focuses on the idea that support and understanding can be found in the most unexpected of places, hence the title. Although if you’re not humming the Level 42 song by now, you’re clearly a lot younger than me!
If any of the issues in this blog post have affected you and you would like to reach out for support, you can find some really helpful resources here: https://thepandasfoundation.org.uk