It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person in possession of a social media account (or three) must be in want of a Like.
Of course, this wanting to be liked isn’t limited to our online lives. We all want to be liked. It’s human nature, built into our DNA back in the days when our lives depended on keeping in harmony with the tribe, which afforded us shelter and protection. There was more chance of us surviving an attack from a rampaging sabre tooth tiger when there was a whole group to deal with it than there would be for one lone soul in the wilderness.
So, we evolved to try and ensure we fit in and make friends. The most obvious way to do that is to be agreeable. People love to have their opinions validated and there’s a reason why the rich and powerful surround themselves with ‘yes people’. They’re not used to hearing the word ‘no’ and generally don’t react well to it. To be honest, most of us don’t like hearing it, whatever our bank balance. But neither do we enjoy saying it, knowing that uttering those two innocuous little letters together can result in a host of reactions from huffs, moods, shouting, and steely silence. All of which equal awkwardness and discomfort for the person who dared to disagree. So, despite the fact that we know it isn’t what we want, that we may not enjoy it, and that by going against our every instinct we are likely to end up in a situation that will not bring us joy and may have us silently fuming at all the other things we could be doing instead, we still end up saying yes.
It’s a tiny word. No. Just two letters. One syllable. And yet it seems to be one of the hardest words to say. (A close runner, of course, is ‘sorry’ but that’s a whole other topic!). But as difficult as it can be, and as easy as the alternative seems at the time, there are instances when we really do need to just say no. It’s so easy to end up over committed running here, there and everywhere like a maniac, which is exhausting in itself. But when you do take a moment to look back at why you’re practically falling asleep standing up and realise that a good proportion of those things you’ve been doing haven’t actually brought you any joy and you’ve just done them because you think you ‘ought’ or ‘should’ do them, then it’s time to take another look at your to do list. And, of course, it’s not just time that gets sucked away by saying yes when you really want to say no. That meal with the gang from work, your second cousin in law’s hen do, the next door neighbour but three’s candle party where of course you felt you had to buy something. It all adds up and knowing you didn’t really want to go to any of them only makes you feel worse.
Of course, there are always going to be some people that will never want to accept a ‘no’, especially if you’ve always said ‘yes’ and it may take them a while to get used to this more assertive version of you. But this is your life. Is rushing around trying to please everyone else, often to the detriment of your own happiness, really how you want to spend it?