Stepping into the ice-cold waters surrounding Donegal in the North West of Ireland in March is not for the faint-hearted, but it is worth it.
In 2022 amid a stressful year of parenting and work, coupled with moving house and sliding deeper into menopause, it was recommended I try my hand at cold water dipping. And sure it seemed like everyone and their mother was giving it a go and finding it did wonders for their mental health.
At the time I had been working with the fabulous Serena Terry, aka TikTok sensation Mammy Banter to mentor her through the process of writing her first two novels. We’d become firm friends and Serena had extolled the virtues of cold-water dipping and wild swimming to me – promising it was a transformative experience that fed all the lovely happy hormones in our brains. She’d even formed her own informal band of swimmers – Waves for Mental Health – and was converting people from all over the Northwest of Ireland to the positive benefits of being at one with the sea and nature.
For months I’d resisted for two reasons. The first is that cold water dipping sounds absolutely horrific to the uninitiated. Willingly submerging yourself in the icy sea just off the Atlantic coast seems like madness when there are warm baths and hot showers to be had in your own home.
The second reason was that I am pathologically terrified of sea creatures of any form and have been since childhood. I don’t eat seafood. I can’t even look at it. The thought of being in the same space as living sea creatures, or that they might come into direct contact with me, was enough to put the fear of God in me.
But as my personal stress levels grew, my need to do something to tackle them also rocketed. No risk of a possible brush with a tiny creature could feel as bad as my spiralling anxiety did.
So, with a great deal of trepidation, I decided to take the plunge.
In The Affair, my character Christina joins The Soul Sisterhood led by influencer Sorcha Hannon. In real life, I joined Waves. While it’s fair to say that the latter inspired the former, I must be clear that is where the resemblance ends. My inspiration came from examining the friendships we build as adults – especially at a time when making friends ‘in real life’ is harder than ever.
In Waves, I found a supportive community of people of all ages who were looking after their mental health and forging strong new friendships. It soon became clear that everyone had their reasons for willingly walking into the sea and the saying ‘everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about’ is very much true. The strength and compassion of the swimmers of Waves would humble many a person.
The cold water dips became as much about therapy and self-healing as they were about the physical benefits of immersing yourself in icy cold water. We cried at times. We laughed a lot. We screamed when the water hit our delicate areas for the first time. (That never gets easier!)
That’s not to say I wasn’t terrified on that first morning in March when I, like Christina in the book, showed up in my fake dry robe determined to give it a go.
My body was screaming at me to stay out of the water as I walked on shaky legs towards the shoreline at Ludden – one of the many beautiful beaches mere minutes away from my home city of Derry.
I was dressed in all the right gear – with water shoes, swimsuit and rash vest, neoprene gloves and a beanie hat – but all the right gear in the world doesn’t stop the bite of the first rush of water over your feet. With each step, I fought the urge to turn back and run for the warmth of my car and the drive home.
But again like Christina, I had friends old and new who offered to hold my hand and guide me deeper into the sea.
One of my oldest and dearest friends walked with me reminding me to breathe in, and out. She warned me that certain parts of that walk into the sea are tougher than others. She reminded me that I could do it. I was in fact already ‘doing it’.
I cried when I got out of the water. There were tears of pride at having overcome one of my biggest fears. There were tears of hope that this might actually help my overly stimulated brain to calm down. There were tears of release as I let go of the tension that had been weighing on my shoulders for the last few years as we battled a pandemic, bereavement and the illness.
It became a way to reset. To wash away the stress and come back into the light with the tide. And I met some of the very best people along the way.
Wild swimming or Cold Water Dipping isn’t for everyone, but for some of us it provided and still provides a lifeline that we will always be grateful for.
Kinnagoe Bay