A Farewell Party with a dark twist!
The idea for my new novel Guilty, came from an old school friend, Lucy Fassett, who held a farewell party to celebrate her life with family and friends seven years ago. She died of bowel cancer a few weeks later aged just 48. (And I know she’d want me to tell you that she went to her doctor as soon as she had the first symptoms, which is another story).
How many times have you been to a funeral and wished the person was still there to see how much they were loved? Living funerals, as they’ve come to be known, are an opportunity for your family and friends to commemorate your life while you can still join in and enjoy it. Chances are they’d love to have the opportunity to honour you, remember the good times you’ve had together, show how much they love you and give thanks for all you’ve done for them – while you’re still here, not after you’ve gone.
It’s possibly also your final opportunity to depart this world without leaving anything important unsaid, which is the main aspect I explore in Guilty.
After her terminal diagnosis, Heather wants to leave this world with a clear conscience. She’s been keeping a shocking secret for over twenty-seven years and needs to unburden herself. She decides to make a confession in front of all her guests. But not everyone thinks it’s a good idea because of the serious repercussions for those she’ll be leaving behind…
We all know how bad we are at talking about death in the UK, but I believe we are beginning to open up the conversation. In recent months, Esther Rantzen’s campaign for assisted dying has made us consider the importance of dignity at the end of our lives, ending suffering and having a ‘good’ death.
The growing popularity of living funerals is part of that shift. Thinking about how you can commemorate your life as well as how you want to spend your last moments is helping to start these important conversations with loved ones.
Have you thought what you would like for your last hurrah? An 80s theme perhaps, 70s-style food or perhaps an Elvis impersonator?
Whatever you decide, let’s hope you don’t have a huge revelation to share like Heather does, so you can enjoy the party of your life!
Links:
Bowelresearchuk.org
Bowelcanceruk.org.uk
Legacyoflives.com (The Farewell Guide – for support and advice.)
MyGoodbyes (app) – Plan and host your own farewell party ahead of time.
Recommended reads:
I’m Dying… Let’s Party! Saying Your Goodbyes – before you die by Susan Lake-Harris
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson
With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well by Kathryn Mannix